Still Unmarried (and Only One Date)

I tried online dating again.

Batting “zero” thus far.

I met one guy for a late breakfast in the Fall of 2021, but no go.

I even tried a site for those of us who didn’t take the clot shot and, let me tell you, it is slim pickings out there for my age group and where I live.

New England had very coercive mandates for anyone with a job and a lot of good men unwillingly took the shots to stay employed.

Many are now sick and the already small pool of eligible men in their 50s who aren’t dying of heart attacks, strokes, and aggressive cancers is shrinking further.

I will keep the website I was on unnamed because I am no longer a member, but here is the gist:

As long as my photo was hidden, I got a few requests to “chat”.

Only one or two were in my area and I have a feeling even men who are NOT completely lobotomized and indoctrinated still only care about one thing:

SEX

What could a 30 something year old dude in another state or overseas really be after when he is messaging a woman who is old enough to be his mother and lives 300 or 3000 miles away?

Does he think I am desperate and will give him money or something?

Mommy issues?

I did have a few lovely “chats” with men my own age, but, the minute they see my unfiltered profile pic, they ghost me.

Sorry, bub. I am a middle-aged woman who has worked as hard as any man for over 38 years.  I can run circles around a lot of people, but I don’t look 25 anymore. 

Even though I am making progress in the weight department and have toned up quite a bit, I don’t routinely wear makeup or dye my hair.  I clean up pretty well, but, most days, I hide my crowning glory under a bandana or braid it into submission because it will look like Roseanne Roseannadanna’s after about five minutes of exertion in most environments.

It looks fantastic when I am at the beach.  Who would think?

I have a picture on my dating profile with my hair done (glorious curls) and look happy and tan. 

Unfortunately, I am very much a peasant and my schnoz looks enormous.

I also don’t put the girls on display (that’s for the bedroom).  I have been told that may be a reason most men aren’t interested.

I know being fat is a turnoff, but plenty of women who are at least 100 pounds heavier than I get dates.

They have, however, gigantic baps.

Childbearing and breastfeeding are a great way to turn 36Ds into 40B/Cs.

And, no, I am not getting plastic surgery.  If I had money for that, I would have reattached my abdominal muscles that were obliterated by 9 pound babies.

I am lucky my uterus has not fallen out and I only wet my pants when I sneeze, cough, or laugh.

I laugh a lot.

Thus, I have a feeling I will remain single and go stag to every wedding and firefighter’s ball for the rest of my life.

Unless, the new website for the unjabbed that I just joined pans out.